I HATE Star Wars

[Bricktop]

On the eve of yet ANOTHER completely pointless episode in the Star Wars churn, I am compelled to declare my utter contempt for this franchise, and all that sail in it (except for my Cousin...in case he reads this). Reasons, you ask?



1. The story is thin, and aimed to avoid confusing the simple minds that watch these overhyped fairy tales. Worse, the story is the same old line in EVERY iteration. The uprising of the downtrodden against an evil empire that possesses a superweapon that, if destroyed will tip the scales for the revolutionaries. They destroy this superweapon...yet NOTHING changes!!!



2. The utter absence of adherence to the laws of physics. Apparently, in the Star Wars cosmos, gravity exists everywhere, especially in space ships that do not rotate to create a gravity field. Likewise, these space based craft seem capable of not only navigating the vast reaches of the universe, but then flying quite ably in an atmosphere without wings or propulsion.



3. Stormtroopers. WTF is it with these inept goons. If you wished to prosecute a war, do NOT hire these utterly incompetent quasi nazis. Despite their usual vast numerical advantage, they still cannot hit a target from 50 metres despite being armed with laser weapons. Its like they are blind. Other than firing their blasters everywhere but where they should be, their only other contribution to the churn is to walk around the passages of space craft for no apparent or obvious reason.



4. Aliens. Humans have enough trouble relating to other humans. How on earth are we to believe that humans socialise and integrate with alien life forms, who, it must be said, act more like humans than the humans. Most humans have trouble with their native tongues, let alone the beeps, squeaks and burps emitted by Ewoks and others.



5. Bad families. WTF is with the constant warring between people who are related? Talk about your dysfunctional siblings and parents. Thus far, we've had Luke kill his father, followed by his nephew offing his own, Han Solo. Is there no such thing as family counselling in the future.



Sure, the effects are special, but other than that, these things are MIND NUMBING dirges.

[Anonymous]

On the eve of yet ANOTHER completely pointless episode in the Star Wars churn, I am compelled to declare my utter contempt for this franchise, and all that sail in it (except for my Cousin...in case he reads this). Reasons, you ask?



1. The story is thin, and aimed to avoid confusing the simple minds that watch these overhyped fairy tales. Worse, the story is the same old line in EVERY iteration. The uprising of the downtrodden against an evil empire that possesses a superweapon that, if destroyed will tip the scales for the revolutionaries. They destroy this superweapon...yet NOTHING changes!!!



2. The utter absence of adherence to the laws of physics. Apparently, in the Star Wars cosmos, gravity exists everywhere, especially in space ships that do not rotate to create a gravity field. Likewise, these space based craft seem capable of not only navigating the vast reaches of the universe, but then flying quite ably in an atmosphere without wings or propulsion.



3. Stormtroopers. WTF is it with these inept goons. If you wished to prosecute a war, do NOT hire these utterly incompetent quasi nazis. Despite their usual vast numerical advantage, they still cannot hit a target from 50 metres despite being armed with laser weapons. Its like they are blind. Other than firing their blasters everywhere but where they should be, their only other contribution to the churn is to walk around the passages of space craft for no apparent or obvious reason.



4. Aliens. Humans have enough trouble relating to other humans. How on earth are we to believe that humans socialise and integrate with alien life forms, who, it must be said, act more like humans than the humans. Most humans have trouble with their native tongues, let alone the beeps, squeaks and burps emitted by Ewoks and others.



5. Bad families. WTF is with the constant warring between people who are related? Talk about your dysfunctional siblings and parents. Thus far, we've had Luke kill his father, followed by his nephew offing his own, Han Solo. Is there no such thing as family counselling in the future.



Sure, the effects are special, but other than that, these things are MIND NUMBING dirges.

Star wars fanatics do not analyze the movies, they just dress up, got to the Cineplex and enjoy themselves.

[kiebers]

snip

Star wars fanatics do not analyze the movies, they just dress up, got to the Cineplex and enjoy themselves.

I figure he's standing in line waiting for tickets, and he's pissed it's taking so long.....just assuming...

[Anonymous]

snip

Star wars fanatics do not analyze the movies, they just dress up, got to the Cineplex and enjoy themselves.

I figure he's standing in line waiting for tickets, and he's pissed it's taking so long.....just assuming...

I know all about that.

[JOE]

Well...Mikey who hates everything.



I disagree with you on some points.



While it's true that there may have been too many episodes, at least a few of them were quite good. I liked the first movie as well as the 2nd. But I agree somewhat that it fell apart around the 3rd movie and had too much of a 'let's make the kids feel good too look'. And then it becomes shit.



Just like the Australian  Mad Max movies it becomes too much of a good thing, Hollywood steps in with corny scripts, gives into greed & what was once golden becomes spoiled and gets ruined by crass commercialism.



I think you might look at it a different way tho. Star Wars is to what Greek Mythology was for required reading in your Dad & Grand Dad's time. And now, todays generations know little if anything about the Greeks & their new myths are Star Wars. Han Solo is a modern day Perseus, and the maiden he rescues from the bad guys and wins over is Princess Leia. Essentially the same idea, just a different setting.



Anyways, I stopped watchin Star Wars after Episode III, which was awful. I knew after that it wasn't gonna be very good anymore. Mad Max also went downhill to after the Road Warrior. Its not how much Hollywood spends or the stars it pays millions to which make it a good move - but whether its well written and has a plot. But seems these idiots in Hollywood have lost sight of the fundamentals. Yet even Movies like Gone with the Wind didn't have a happy ending, same time its considered one of the best movies of all time.



Maybe they should learn from the past so they can learn to make better movies again.

On the eve of yet ANOTHER completely pointless episode in the Star Wars churn, I am compelled to declare my utter contempt for this franchise, and all that sail in it (except for my Cousin...in case he reads this). Reasons, you ask?



1. The story is thin, and aimed to avoid confusing the simple minds that watch these overhyped fairy tales. Worse, the story is the same old line in EVERY iteration. The uprising of the downtrodden against an evil empire that possesses a superweapon that, if destroyed will tip the scales for the revolutionaries. They destroy this superweapon...yet NOTHING changes!!!



2. The utter absence of adherence to the laws of physics. Apparently, in the Star Wars cosmos, gravity exists everywhere, especially in space ships that do not rotate to create a gravity field. Likewise, these space based craft seem capable of not only navigating the vast reaches of the universe, but then flying quite ably in an atmosphere without wings or propulsion.



3. Stormtroopers. WTF is it with these inept goons. If you wished to prosecute a war, do NOT hire these utterly incompetent quasi nazis. Despite their usual vast numerical advantage, they still cannot hit a target from 50 metres despite being armed with laser weapons. Its like they are blind. Other than firing their blasters everywhere but where they should be, their only other contribution to the churn is to walk around the passages of space craft for no apparent or obvious reason.



4. Aliens. Humans have enough trouble relating to other humans. How on earth are we to believe that humans socialise and integrate with alien life forms, who, it must be said, act more like humans than the humans. Most humans have trouble with their native tongues, let alone the beeps, squeaks and burps emitted by Ewoks and others.



5. Bad families. WTF is with the constant warring between people who are related? Talk about your dysfunctional siblings and parents. Thus far, we've had Luke kill his father, followed by his nephew offing his own, Han Solo. Is there no such thing as family counselling in the future.



Sure, the effects are special, but other than that, these things are MIND NUMBING dirges.

[Bricktop]

snip

Star wars fanatics do not analyze the movies, they just dress up, got to the Cineplex and enjoy themselves.

I figure he's standing in line waiting for tickets, and he's pissed it's taking so long.....just assuming...

I don't queue.



If I can't walk right in to whatever event is being held, I walk right past.



And while we're at it, how can these walking tin can robots be smarter than humans? And where are they made? Are the human products? If not, why are they not uniform. One is wheeled bin, the other a spindly bipedal android. Not to mention those absurdly awkward bi-pedal tanks. A decent helicopter would waste them in a heartbeat. And if we have cruise missiles that can hit a scooter from half the world away, how do these gigantic space battleships miss?

[Anonymous]

snip

Star wars fanatics do not analyze the movies, they just dress up, got to the Cineplex and enjoy themselves.

I figure he's standing in line waiting for tickets, and he's pissed it's taking so long.....just assuming...

I don't queue.



If I can't walk right in to whatever event is being held, I walk right past.



And while we're at it, how can these walking tin can robots be smarter than humans? And where are they made? Are the human products? If not, why are they not uniform. One is wheeled bin, the other a spindly bipedal android. Not to mention those absurdly awkward bi-pedal tanks. A decent helicopter would waste them in a heartbeat. And if we have cruise missiles that can hit a scooter from half the world away, how do these gigantic space battleships miss?

It's make believe and they are having fun..



And today is a day for dressing up and having fun.

[JOE]

I think Oberon/Leopardsux misses the point. There's a lot of inconsistencies in many other films, but they're still good films. Ie - The Road Warrior was a great adventure film, but LS should point flaws in that one too. Like the scene where Mel Gibson and his friends are being chased by the villains. Realistically, those semis could have easily crushed those smaller vehicles, but then they mysteriously choose not to, as if the stuntmen are taking this photo op to pose for the cinematographers. Or in the movie Enemy at the Gates were the actors are supposedly fighting in sub zero weather in Stalingrad - yet their breathes never oxidize the air in supposedly mid winter, etc. So its the plot and acting, not the special effects that makes a movie.

snip

Star wars fanatics do not analyze the movies, they just dress up, got to the Cineplex and enjoy themselves.

I figure he's standing in line waiting for tickets, and he's pissed it's taking so long.....just assuming...

I don't queue.



If I can't walk right in to whatever event is being held, I walk right past.



And while we're at it, how can these walking tin can robots be smarter than humans? And where are they made? Are the human products? If not, why are they not uniform. One is wheeled bin, the other a spindly bipedal android. Not to mention those absurdly awkward bi-pedal tanks. A decent helicopter would waste them in a heartbeat. And if we have cruise missiles that can hit a scooter from half the world away, how do these gigantic space battleships miss?

It's make believe and they are having fun..



And today is a day for dressing up and having fun.

[kiebers]

Actually J0E, you have missed the point. You remain true to form.

[Anonymous]

snip

Star wars fanatics do not analyze the movies, they just dress up, got to the Cineplex and enjoy themselves.

I figure he's standing in line waiting for tickets, and he's pissed it's taking so long.....just assuming...

I don't queue.



If I can't walk right in to whatever event is being held, I walk right past.



And while we're at it, how can these walking tin can robots be smarter than humans? And where are they made? Are the human products? If not, why are they not uniform. One is wheeled bin, the other a spindly bipedal android. Not to mention those absurdly awkward bi-pedal tanks. A decent helicopter would waste them in a heartbeat. And if we have cruise missiles that can hit a scooter from half the world away, how do these gigantic space battleships miss?

It's make believe and they are having fun..



And today is a day for dressing up and having fun.

No Halloween decorations and no candies to shell out. No trick or treaters come to my farm. The kiddies probably think I am another Norman Bates.

[Romero]

On the eve of yet ANOTHER completely pointless episode in the Star Wars churn, I am compelled to declare my utter contempt for this franchise, and all that sail in it (except for my Cousin...in case he reads this). Reasons, you ask?



1. The story is thin, and aimed to avoid confusing the simple minds that watch these overhyped fairy tales. Worse, the story is the same old line in EVERY iteration. The uprising of the downtrodden against an evil empire that possesses a superweapon that, if destroyed will tip the scales for the revolutionaries. They destroy this superweapon...yet NOTHING changes!!!



2. The utter absence of adherence to the laws of physics. Apparently, in the Star Wars cosmos, gravity exists everywhere, especially in space ships that do not rotate to create a gravity field. Likewise, these space based craft seem capable of not only navigating the vast reaches of the universe, but then flying quite ably in an atmosphere without wings or propulsion.



3. Stormtroopers. WTF is it with these inept goons. If you wished to prosecute a war, do NOT hire these utterly incompetent quasi nazis. Despite their usual vast numerical advantage, they still cannot hit a target from 50 metres despite being armed with laser weapons. Its like they are blind. Other than firing their blasters everywhere but where they should be, their only other contribution to the churn is to walk around the passages of space craft for no apparent or obvious reason.



4. Aliens. Humans have enough trouble relating to other humans. How on earth are we to believe that humans socialise and integrate with alien life forms, who, it must be said, act more like humans than the humans. Most humans have trouble with their native tongues, let alone the beeps, squeaks and burps emitted by Ewoks and others.



5. Bad families. WTF is with the constant warring between people who are related? Talk about your dysfunctional siblings and parents. Thus far, we've had Luke kill his father, followed by his nephew offing his own, Han Solo. Is there no such thing as family counselling in the future.



Sure, the effects are special, but other than that, these things are MIND NUMBING dirges.

Have you even seen any of the movies?

[Bricktop]

I have kids.



And grandkids.



What do YOU think?

[Anonymous]

I have kids.



And grandkids.



What do YOU think?

Is that a yes?

 

[Bricktop]

Of course.



I'm condemned to sit with them, or take them to these insufferably repetitive and unoriginal snorefests. Surely they can come up with some originality rather than walk the same old path of the meek rising against the tyrant pitting children against fathers. I note that in the last one, the villain didn't kill his mother. Hell, no. Now THAT would have been original.



And what is it with that wookie? Unintelligible and indistinguishable whines, howls and roars from something out of Sesame Street, carrying a bandolier which he NEVER uses.

[Anonymous]

My kids are grown up. I went to the last Star Wars movie without any excuse.