Serious question here

[Anonymous]

Are the people posting this shit a bunch of sexually frustrated teenagers? Are all the porn sites shut down?



WTF is wrong with you?

I think it's some kids jacked up on doritos and energy drinks. Notice how they keep forgetting to even use their names? It's says guest, so it could be just one horny guy in his basement talking himself into a hot, wet lather until he just explodes all over his keyboard.

 It's just me(Dove) and Joo having a memory moment is all.  



 We keep getting logged out  :2r4ml1j_th:

I haven't had that problem.

 I havent had it either until tonight



 And this is the first time I hid my online status.



 Hey Joo, master pussy eater aside.....could that be connected? Online status hiding and getting logged out?

If I get busy and don't touch anything for a while it logs me out. If I press login, than no problem.

Herman, my brother, how would you feel if you walk into a dude's house and he tells you to take off your pants and relax with him?

The poster below nailed my reaction.

[Anonymous]

"Squirting" is nothing but piss. We debunked that myth in season 2 of Mythbusters.

This is absolutely false.  The fluid released when a woman squirts is produced in the kidneys so it contains urethra.

[Dove]

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/323953#is-it-real">https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articl ... is-it-real">https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/323953#is-it-real



"For many years, scientists thought that females who ejaculated during sex were experiencing continence problems. Research has since disproved this idea and confirmed the existence of female ejaculation."



 You're welcome.



 And women do not pee pee out of their clits.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes I think old Joe aint the only sixty year old virgin on these forums.

[Anonymous]

I'm with Big here... "take your pants off and relax" is a line for a woman about to go Linda Lovelace on a nikka...



Having his gag reflux removed when they surgically restore his rectum would be money well spent.

How ya doing kid?

I'm doing good.  I lost a family member recently and I've been offline dealing with all that... Hope all is well with you  ac_smile

Sorry to hear that. Always tough losing a family member.



I aint too bad for an old fart. Soon be spring and that puts a spring in old Herman's step.

Good to hear  ac_drinks



I love all the seasons actually... but summer is my favorite because I'm a beach dweller.

I love summer too..



I used to walk my dog when I had one, roller blading, cycling, and my garden.

I love to layout in the sun all day... or ride the bike path on my beach cruiser or skateboard... or ride the waves on a longboard.

[Anonymous]

Just being outdoors all the time is the best part of summer.

[Anonymous]

Just being outdoors all the time is the best part of summer.

I concur.  Sunshine and fresh air are wonderful.

[Anonymous]

Just being outdoors all the time is the best part of summer.

I concur.  Sunshine and fresh air are wonderful.

To sunshine, fresh air, and barrel wash. ac_drinks

[caskur]

Boring thread... I got to page two and thought, how old are these fools? 13? 14?.... maybe 15 at most.



These people actually bred folks... they actually did.



*shakes head*

[Biggie Smiles]

Boring thread... I got to page two and thought, how old are these fools? 13? 14?.... maybe 15 at most.



These people actually bred folks... they actually did.



*shakes head*

Why don't you go somewhere and stick your face in a bowl of Krazy glue, cowskur

[fuckugoogle]

2.

So a few years ago I had brought a new girl back to my apartment after being out drinking all evening. We were too drunk to make the beast with two backs so we passed out until morning.



When we awoke we started kissing and canoodling and I decided to go down on her. This is one of my favorite things and generally will do it as long as it takes to make a girl orgasm...







— finebushlane



3.

Girl beneath me, rolls me over onto my back – in the process we roll off the bed and we land on the floor, me on the bottom and her still straddling me. Her leg went straight through a big glass of water. Blood everywhere. She had lacerated her leg straight to the bone in a clean cut: I could see her muscle. Within ten minutes of our initial playing around there were 6 firemen and 3 policemen in the room (she was mental and shouted down the phone that I had a gun so they would come sooner). I was high and drunk and so her roomie took control. Paralysed by shock and weed, I had to hide while they took her in the ambulance as she was THAT crazy that I was expecting her to call rape.



She required 62 stitches, 40 on the muscle covering her shin.



This is the singular most traumatic experience of my life.



— Darzel



4.

He pulled it out to come on my face, I was unprepared and snorted his semen up my nose. We started making out and I sneezed his semen onto his own face.





Probably grosser for him than for me, but not by much.



— SisterNamedJan



5.

Three words.



Anal sex. Pinworms.



Maybe not as gross as the OP's story, but it's fucking nasty to pull your dick out and see a dozen or so worms writhing around on the condom.



— ukqjlv



6.



I was in a band in college and we played a show this one weekend. I was pretty smashed after drinking for free all night, and this surprisingly cute chick saunters up and started with the whole, "oh my god, you like write songs and stuff?" Despite the fact that I am usually a bit shy in situations like this, she had her arm around me and is doing all the work. "Fuck it, let's do this," I think to myself. While she is mid-sentence, I grabbed her hand and started walking her out the door.



We headed back to her apartment, and things started to heat up. We were on her bed, ripping off eachother's clothes. Suddenly, in one swift move, she pounced me, knocked me onto my back, jumped on top of me, spun around and started sucking me off, 69 style. I was totally into it, and started reciprocating. Only a few moments pass before I felt a tap on my forehead. My face was fully between her legs, yet there was this tap tap tap on my forehead. Every couple of seconds, tap tap tap. This tapping continued and started to take me out of the moment. I pried my face from between her legs to get a better view of what was going on. To my horror, I witnessed, dangling from her asshole, a fucking tape worm, bouncing like a fettuccine noodle with every excited movement she made. I was totally disgusted, but kind of in shock, and she had no idea what is going on, just gobbling away down there. Before I knew it, I had thrown her off of me and I was stringing together a long series of "fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck" as I put on my pants and ran out the door.



— kidmonsters



7.

So, the boy and I like some backdoor fun from time to time. We talk about it more than we do it because it's tiresome to get ready and clean up after... usually worth it though ;). One Saturday afternoon, the boy is performing some world class cuminonumbulus when I feel a pressure at my nether orifice. I soon realized he was using some beads on me. We had some filthy and very very satisfying sex, then I went to the bathroom to clean up without removing the beads.



I'm so glad I did that.



I sat on the toilet to get the beads out.





I'm so glad I did that.



Those beads were solidly embedded in a great big turd.



I just stared at it dumbly for a moment before the smell hit me.



— tiedyestarburst



8.

Ex girlfriend and me having anal sex in a pitch black room. Smell hits, I turn on the lights, and there is dark brown diarrhea all over my crotch, and both our legs.



Cleaning up in the shower afterwards with her I said with a smile, "That was pretty gross."





She says, "I thought it was pussy juice, so I was rubbing it into my pussy."



— poooboy



9.

I accidentally shit once while fucking a girl.



I was pretty drunk and had to fart.



I had the runs, and well. You know... I pooped. It was especially runny, it felt weird landing on the back of my thighs. It really sucked, but I kept on at it for a few more minutes.. Then I felt the bubble guts. I was torn. I was drunk, so I was debating if I wanted to just shit and keep going or get up and run away. Some how those were my only two options.



My body had a third option.





I decided to get up and just leave but I didn't want get my pants all covered in shit.



So I did a quick wipe with the boxers, threw my jeans on.. and pretty much just walked out.



I was really upset at myself for how I handled it.



I started to walk home and I fell down and shit myself.



I think it could have been karma.



— highonfire



10.



We were messing around in the car waiting for the class to start where I had to write my midterm exam. So to relieve some pressure I suggested a quick one. She agreed. We were in the school parking lot and right when I finished and was about to pull the condom (my gf was in the front seat already) our prof parks right next to us. I was terrified to say the least.



He said gestured if I was coming to class and said I rolled my window down with my hand on my crotch and said yes. He said, "Do you mind helping me with these papers?", with the best poker face ever! I had no other choice but to say yes. So I pulled my pants up and walked with him with the cum filled condom still on my penis. I was in the class for one hour and 45 mins and had to write the test with the condom on my dick. Every time I moved I died a little inside.



— lhjmq



11.

Freshman year of college, I met this guy and brought him back to my dorm (I'm also a guy). He seemed nice and everything, and he was cute, and we started to fuck around. Eventually he decided he wanted to bottom (i.e. get fucked), and so we started having intercourse...



I started to smell the distinct smell of fecal matter very soon. I thought "whatever, I guess you should expect a little smell when having anal sex." I continued, and the smell continued to get worse.



Eventually, we finish, and I pull out – only to see a stream of shit spew out of his ass. It was everywhere. I mean, fucking everywhere. It was explosive diarrhea-type shit, on my bed, on me, on the wall even.



... and then my roommate walked in.



I found out later that the dude had a severe bowel problem of some kind, and really shouldn't have bottomed. My ex-roomate is still a friend of mine, and I still have to assure him that that's not what gay sex generally looks like.



— tellme_areyoufree



12.

Sucking a chicks nipple in the dark. She was loving it. All of a sudden there is liquid.. Lactating.. sick. So keep going, she seems to be loving it.



Lights come on, dun dun dunnn, I had been sucking the pus out of a boil.



— Pict



13.

I was going out with a girl, and one night we got drunk and had sex without protection. She wasn't on the pill, so she had to go to the pharmacy and get a morning-after type thing.



So a few days later, we were fooling around in the dark. I fingered her a bit, went down on her. I noticed it tasted a little weirder than normal, but didn't say anything. She repaid me in similar fashion. Afterwards I go to the bathroom, and turn the light on. My whole face and arms are covered in blood. I look like a vampire after a feeding frenzy. Initially I thought it was a cut on my face or something, but I couldn't find anything wrong. Also, the blood was not like any blood I'd seen before, like it was really thick and gooey. So I go back to the bedroom, turn the light on, and her entire lower regions are bathed in this syrupy horrible red gunk. It's all over the bed sheets, and all down the side of her legs.



She understandably freaks out. We call emergency services etc. At first we thought I cut her down there with my fingernails or something. But it turns out when a girl uses emergency contraception, it can wreak havoc with her menstrual cycle. And I spent 5 minutes lapping up her period blood. We never spoke of it again. Remember kids: if she isnt on the pill, use a fucking condom.



— sobe86



14.

So... I was fucking my ex-girlfriend one night, and we had been going at it for quite a while. we took a little break to smoke cigarettes and drink some water, and went back at it. well, in the break, i forgot to close my bedroom door, which i usually remember to do.I do so, because I have a dog. A dog that really, really, likes girls.



So, I'm fucking my ex, with us both sitting upright, her in my lap. She starts moaning, and saying, "oh that feels good!", and whatnot, so we just keep grinding it out. After a few minutes, I realize that she shouldn't be feeling as good as she's feeling. I mean, I'm not doing poorly, but I've never done this good with so little effort.



So I look down.



I stop fucking her immediately, and start laughing like crazy.



My dog has been licking her pussy and ass for the past few minutes, as I fucked her.



She didn't find it nearly as funny as I did.



oh well.

[Dove]

The buttsex guy totally deserved worms on his dick.



Anal sex is disgusting. Exit only.

[fuckugoogle]

:MG_216:

[Anonymous]

I have 3 new dolls, one named poofer, one named Dovey and one named Little Biggie's testicles.



I sometimes make them all have sex with each and other times I make them fight.



I have another doll called sum cunt and he just watches them from the closet.

[Anonymous]

Boring thread... I got to page two and thought, how old are these fools? 13? 14?.... maybe 15 at most.



These people actually bred folks... they actually did.



*shakes head*

Shush woman!  You're interrupting all the cybersexercise...