I'm not staying married and I'm not making decisions based on what other people think. I don't think my ONE requirement .....my ONE deal breaker is unreasonable.
I am not ever staying in a 3 way relationship with anyone's mother. I'm not living everyday of my life with someone who is perpetually negative, disrespectful and refuses to make any life plans with his own wife and instead does so with his mother.
I'd rather be single and alone than feel like a 3rd wheel in my own marriage and my standards aren't so low where I'm gonna be shit on my entire life just because he doesn't beat me.
I'm sorry if you guys have an issue with that but unless it's any of you dealing with what I've been dealing with you have NO idea what it's actually like. So be glad you guys don't have these issues, realize I haven't asked anyone for their advice or thoughts, stop taking shit you read on BF so seriously and move on from it.
Personally I'm at peace with the amount of effort I put into it before pulling the plug. If you guys want to pretend him lying to me for over a year, picking fights and talking to me like I'm total shit, and having his mother do everything regardless of how many people have told him its a PROBLEM isn't a big deal that's fine. I'm NOT okay with it. I am NOT going to stay in it either.
IM the one who has the live with it and my kids who BTW will tell you they are glad this is happening because they can finally relax. I'm not spending the rest of my life tip toeing around a man I'm legally bound to and "submitting" to everything his mother tells him we need to do.
I have said ONLY positive and good things about my marriage because I'm big on not blasting our problems all over the place. That's IT. And even openly posting that I'm separated due to dishonesty and this shit with his mother.....dude I am homeless living at my best friend's house, and this was completely unessesary. He intentionally LIED FOR OVER A YEAR. After 12 years of knowing full fucking well he needed to draw proper boundaries with his mother.
Why don't I suck it up because he doesn't beat me, and let her decide where I live and how we eat and how my kids are raised and maybe I can also fuck her and everything. Yeah? I hung around TRIED so hard for so long and j am DONE. I want to be left the fuck alone and to figure out what I'm doing now. Just because I make light of shit on the internet does not mean any of you have a clue what is happening in my actual intimate life. A few of you are taking my posts way too seriously and these venues are not for that. I was full on ready to divorce over this same shit 4 or 5 years ago. And I blamed it on video games BECAUSE I didn't want to embarrass him by saying "his mommy controls our life and he allows it and his attitude is nasty". At this point I don't give a shit if he reads my posts and feels bad....did he give a single fuck about my feelings for the past two years? No. And I BEGGED. I TOLD him over and over. I went to counseling and IM the one who worked with the counseling.
I'm not gonna be forced to be the one who has to eat shit for the rest of my life and constantly deal with shit I don't want to deal with while running myself so thin trying to make someone else happy. I don't want to do that while having to hear daily tantrums and deal with someone's total lack of patience especially. I mean he started yelling about how Squish was gonna end up in prison because she KNOCKED OVER MILK and I don't spank her! She can't have an accident without him making a huge fucking deal. Ever see your little girl completely crumble because she accidently knocked over milk and daddy has to go for 20 fucking minutes about how she's gonna fuck her whole life up because she "can't even be careful"?
If you really care about this maybe instead of preaching on a forum where I never even asked for input come and talk to me privately. This wasn't some easy decision I made on a whim and I don't HAVE any new "love interests". I have my best friend who I love dearly yeah. He isn't a new "love interest" regardless of what I post on BASTARD FACTORY but I will say I'd much rather spend my life shacked up in a friend zoned platonic relationship with someone who loves me and had my back for 30 years who shouldn't ever be living alone due to his MS than going through the nightmare I just went through.
Of my husband had been doing something normal like fucking a coworker I'd be far more likely to want to work it out but he has an umbilical cord attached to his mother to the point where even HER husband has threatened divorce. This isn't normal. And it's humiliating and frustrating and SAD.
Why is it SO important for me to stay married and hate my life every day? Because it LOOKS better? You guys don't think my heroic last efforts for the past 5 years were good enough? Go tell him. Some of you know how to reach him. Go tell him he has a wife and kids and should maybe consider working on thar himself instead of judging ME when I DID waste the past 5 years trying.
I have NO trust or respect for him at this moment and we could have bought the stupid house ourselves. We have enough to buy it outright. It was fucking 48k. I already agreed to ride it out down in the metro area.....I'm NOT going to agree to this. If I'm so horrible and unreasonable that I should look past people plotting behind my back to manipulate me like this than they should be HAPPY I'm leaving the situation and won't be getting in their way, right? Right.
Jesus fuck. I come here to get AWAY from my emotions and my issues and make light of things and make it amusing. Not have my fucking face rubbed in and get cornered into explaining shit I didn't want to explain at this point while fucking Shen wails and bitches because she's too fucking emotional for troll boards and needs to spew her two cents about shit she knows nothing about.
Big did I ever come on the boards and spew OUR whole story? Did I ever go into the issues WE had in their depth and entirety? WHY do you think I would be different now and come online and blast the problems I have in my marriage?
I have slept on a couch for SEVEN YEARS. When we were moving? This guy was throwing a fit about getting things packed and then screaming at me over what can fit in a storage unit. Because nothing can happen without a shit ton of complaining and bullshit. Nothing. Everything is met with stunning negativity and shittiness.....he needs therapy. Actual recovery therapy without a motive like getting ME back he needs to go actually work on his problems. I'm not going to allow anyone to destroy me because they want to be perpetually miserable and allow outside people to direct their life.
Sorry if you disapprove of that but if you are my friend you don't want to know the person I will become if I stay on that path.
And this is far more than I wanted to even share on the matter.
Any points anyone wants to make are gonna be completely futile because I am dead set and if this makes someone think differently of me that's sad but it is what it is. You don't know what you are expecting me to do and live with. My daughters agree with this divorce and believe it's the best for ALL of us and thats what matters. I have two of my best friends and biggest supporters here who see the whole picture who know this isn't easy but its what is best and I'm perfectly fine with the idea of being single until I die. I won't be alone because I have a great relationship with my kids and plenty of things I'll be able to pour myself into now where my efforts will actually matter.
Sorry this is difficult for the forums. I promise you guys....you won't care in a month but I'll still be living it so leave me to my path. I've never preached or judged any of you even when I think you deserve better than what you are doing. I didn't like Flea getting plastic surgery and that hurt my heart but I didn't come down on her. I dont love Bigs certain private situations but I don't come down on him.
But you guys want to make me feel worse about something that is already difficult as fuck? Just stop. No one here would have tolerated what I have so far. No one. You guys want me to be less than who I am for what? Do you want me to be a miserable and bitter person?
